I Forgive Myself

I was taught a number of things from the crimes that were committed against me by ANdrea, Susan, Marlen, Anthony Field, Gian RObberts, and Cerise. One thing I've started noticing yesterday is the disempowerment of my life, my goals, and my aspirations because of being a woman/female. Because I am female/woman who had career goals I was robbed of all that and expected to be forced with a male named Anthony Field who couldn't even afford to take care of himself. I was taught and show that because I'm female I can't have career goals, I can't have a life, I can't have money, that I'm not allowed to support myself, that I am not allowed to be empowered as a female. I have had three woman come into my life and tell me that I must disempower myself and settle for less in life. In Desteni there is no encouragement or empowerment for woman. There is plenty of it for male in Desteni, but there is none for females. Females are expected to give up on everything they ...

Back when I was 19 - 20 years of age I was set to do my psychology degree, go into my DIP Pro courses, and finish my job studies where I'd have employment right after I completed the course. Unfortunately, my goals in my life were robbed of me by Susan Spies, Gian Robberts, Andrea Rossouw, Marlen, Cerise Poolman, and Anthony FIeld who took it upon themselves to commit a series of crimes against me. Those crimes were to rid me of everything I Had in my life through psychological abuse, through taking me away from my support systems, to mentally disabling me with lies, upon lies, and manipulation --- and disabling and disadvantaging me with by/through causing me PTSD. What these criminals expected of me was to lower my standards, and to lower my expectations because I am gay and I'm woman. I was made to think/believe that I have to settle for someone who was sleeping with prostitute, who didn't have any money, any food in the fridge, who had cut his own hair to save mon...

What I have realised recently Is I am not the problem. I am a problem-solver. The problems that have caused me to be less than my best self in life has been a do cause of having Gian Robberts, Cerise, Andrea, Susan, Marlen, and Anthony Field enter into my life... A long with my family. All of these people were problem creators. They were never problem-solvers. They would create problems, and walk away without solving them. Thinking/believing that I was the problem. They were the problem in my life, and their own. They were the problem to everyone in Desteni, and they ripped apart the essence and fabric of Desteni by/through being/becoming the criminals that they chose to be. My family were problem makers but manageable. I am a problem-solver, I've always been a problem solver. A problem I must move into action to solve it. These people brought me problems, and for so many years I've been picking these problems up... Piece by piece --- ALONE. No one in Desteni has had ...

I am in the creation process of starting up my commercial cleaning business. I've wanted to do this for a long time but because of instability with mental health. Ever since the crimes were committed against me more mind-point have accumulated whereas before they were very manageable, and I had already stopped a fair few of them. Ever since he crimes took place, etc. More mind points have accumulated --- being psychologically abused, and robbed of everything in your life by people who expect you to be a long-term victim, comes with being snowed under with more damage mind-points. So, I am snowed under as a result of the sickness of criminal minds -- who couldn't stand abusing me any longer and I wasn't submitting to being a long-term victim so they had to give up on abusing me, and cast me out with all the damages they caused/created for my life. I'm just grateful I am not those criminals. I wouldn't even for a second think to abuse a vulnerable person with autism...

What I do know is I'm extremely behind in my process. It didn't matter who I was, what I was doing in my life, or anything like that, so long those six criminals disabled me, made me look like I was obsessed, made me look like a bad person, make me feel like I was a bad person, they couldn't careless about taking away my process, and my DIP Pro courses. They'd get up in their videos and say ''Don't wait! take on your journey, do the DIP Pro courses. So, when I came to do my DIP Pro courses... why were these criminals destroying everything? It seemed like they used that platform more to destroy my life, and use/abuse for some male who thought there was a me and him, and I"ve never put that in his head. So, someone put that in his head, and came to destroy one by one my life to increase their chances of getting in my life. ANd thank goodness, I had the power in me to say ''NO". Save my life over and over again. If it wasn't for me who ...

One damage of the criminal on-slaught lead by the six criminals who were after destroying everything they could in my life to try/attempt to make themselves the prominent people in my life was how they robbed me of my University studies. I am currently completing a Diploma of Business, and I'll be enrolling into a Diploma of Leadership management, and project management in the coming months. But for me to fix damages those criminals created I would like once I finish my Diplomas to go further and complete a Bachelor of Business (Business law) or something of that nature. I'd like to do this so to correct the damage they created, and experience the full university experience if not full-time on a part-time level. This because at the age of 19 years old my opportunities for university was robbed of me. My opportunities to do Bachelor's of Psychology was robbed of me. I was very intrigued, and still am when I am not plagued by PTSD, About the human mind, and more specifical...

Everything those criminals did and said I see very vividly. None of what was done or said will ever be normal. It all leads to abdication of responsibility by immature and stupid criminals who didn't want me to live happy life. They were all about trying/attempt to get a lifeless human being out of me. What they should have done was just kill me, and give Anthony Field or the other two males they sent my direction, and just give them my body. All those six criminals cared about was rape/forceful penetration so they should have just killed me and given them my body. IF they want to train males to be criminals in Desteni --- and use gay people for their victims, then they have to understand they'll have to kill us, as we will fight, and we are going to change the fact were gay. So, what they should have done as they already took away everything from to increase their chances, which didn't work anyway, because I'm a problem solver, and I always got back up, they should ...

So before I was abused by Andrea, Marlen, Susan, Gian Robberts, Cerise, and Anthony Field, before I was abused by them I had a relationship with the Eqafe interviews. I'd listen to the interviews every single day. They brought a lot to my life, and it wasn't until those criminals used/abused the interviews to put Marlen into my mind as a way to put me through a gay conversion. When they started doing that, they caused problems between me and my buddy relationship with Jeanne. They blamed me for that relationship break-down, but that was caused by them continuously using/abusing me by way of making in the interviews about Marlen, and filling my mind with Marlen. Andrea even stated that they were talking about Marlen, so these was all an orchestrated criminal offence. They then started calling me obsessed with Marlen when I'd ask for her to be my buddy, and that wasn't out of obsessesion, that was out of me trying to get away from Andrea abuse, and let's not forget...

What I have to do is work harder than anyone else I know. Why I have to work harder than anyone else is because I was disabled and disadvantaged by six criminals named Anthony Field, Andrea, Susan, Marlen, Cerise, and Gian Robberts. I currently have three business and I study business. What has been having an impact on my businesses growing is money is the PTSD, and the disadvantagment, as well as impacts that COVID has had on the economy here in Australia. I am 30 years old and I am behind in every aspect of my life. I'm not where I should have been a long time ago as it was all robbed of me by those six criminals who were obsessed with me being raped, and forced into a marriage with an obsessed boy who needed/required psychiatric assistance and support to get over me, and deal with his criminal thoughts. It's been very difficult/challenging to deal with the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and accepting that my life has become this way. So much of my prime where I should ...

I still struggle to this day piecing together what happened to me. I've only just recently come to the realisation that I am not anything those criminals said I was, or made me feel that I was. When I go back, I finally see the parts of me in amongst all the issues/problems of these six criminals and their beliefs that they're helping me by way of disabling and disadvantaging my me. I know full well that I have nothing to do with any of it, and I was just victim of cruel pure evil lead by six psychopaths who didn't want to go see psychological assistance and support, and so because they didn't get any proper help or assistance and support I was victimized -- I was made a victim, and I've been impacted on, I've been disabled, and disadvantaged, I've been blamed for them not seeking proper psychological assistance and support for there disgusting issues/problems. I have been blamed for their sickness inside themselves. I've been blamed for the gay hatre...

Everytime I fall back into the memories of what happened to me all I see is the issues/problems of those criminals and their continuation of blaming me for their sick and twisted evil starting points for abusing me. What I realised none of anything that went has anything to do with me. I literally when I see those memories non-existant within -- just a victim of these criminals blaming me for their issues/problems. Creating all these lies, conjuring up inside their minds false ideas, and images of me. THese people never really engaged in conversation with me, but framed me to be some type of bad person. THey made me feel like I was to blame, and I'm not. None of these things they did, and called me define me. They made them all up inside themselves, and all they did was believe all of it. Everything come up with them about me, they latched onto without first fact-checking. These criminals created their own problems, and blamed me for it. None of it ever had anything to do with ...

DAY 2: All Starting Points Back IN MY HANDS When I was 14 years old I was a hermit that was expected to be a carer for my disabled brother while my single mother worked to keep a roof over our heads. I was not going to school at that time. I dropped out, and fell into caring for my brother. I had a gaming addicting that consisted of my social life too. I became such a hermit that I didn't leave the house. I was regularly abused by my mother emotionally and psychologically. She had more of a life than I did. I became so hermitized that I started questioning the meaning of life. I was always smart and my favourite pass time was watching documentaries that exposed the corruption in the world. So I was awake in that way. My search for the meaning of life furthered into spirituality. I studied religions like Christianity, and the Quran, I meditated, I believed in Angels, etc. It's then when I came across Desteni. When I came across Desteni what quickly stood out to me was how i...